People always say, “God never puts more on us than we can bear” well he definitely trust me extremely too much.

Lately, alot has been occurring in my life and I have truly been speechless knowing something has to happen good from all of this craziness.

I am glad I can go to a store tomorrow without seeing Mother’s Day things. Each year only gets harder. Not having a mom or grandmother who I got so accustomed to talking to daily has truly been hard for me for three years. I have learned to be my own cheerleader. I always remember that the good and the bad is all of God’s will.

Suffering can sometimes be a blessing. It is not always the blind who cannot see. Sometimes we see people for who they are but tend to overlook what we see. But I will never lose faith. The people who are supposed to be in my life will come and stay. I will never change who I am because how others have treated me. I do things for people and never expect anything back. Having a good heart gets you hurt and people tend to think you have no feelings. There loss…It is dangerous to mistreat people who trust God. It is also a sin to purposely mislead someone. 

I am normally not a petty individual but I have kept my thoughts to myself for some time. I know having these thoughts are not right but I need to express them. I have a tendency to lash out instead of actually expressing my feelings that is why I stay to myself alot I understand myself more than others. This is one reason I write what I feel.

I am watching Joel Osteen and it is about “Shame off you”. I met someone year before last and went out with last year who made me feel awkward and that has never happened to me before and I should have known that something was not right but you see what you want to see in people. Made me feel some type of way about things I did not do or knew what was really going on. Well I no longer respect him because of it. His explanation for everything is being selfish biggest coward in a uniform excuse ever. That rule you are what you attract is so not true I do not have a selfish bone in my body. I never intentionally hurt others for my own purpose. I am happy with who I am. I love people who appreciate my efforts. I accept my truth and everything I have endured in life. I allowed the things to happen not always in my best interest but it is what it is….

Pardon the language but this is my truth.

Once upon a time, less than a year ago
I dated this guy
He was and still is an a$$hole
Also a hypocrite and selfish 
Moral of the story he was a lesson and not a blessing 
But somewhere in his eyes, he was a blessing to me I even thought he was until I learned whom he really was
A man with alot to hide 
A man being with me but conversing with another and not being honest about it when confronted 
A liar, cheater and a coward
Once a cheater always a cheater 
Then to withhold the truth is still lying but he did not believe that 
You can never know someone from a couple of months when who they really was they concealed the entire time.
No matter what you did to show them you cared.
Some things and people do not work out but life goes on
Trust God to lead you to wisdom, and never follow your emotions. Emotions are temporary.

Get money and wiser than before.

Just last October gave him a box with his favorite bible scripture Proverbs 3:5Trust the Lord with all thine heart…” Also the serenity prayer like I carry around with me daily. I pray for people even when they do me wrong.

Never get attached to someone even if they marry you cause you never know who they still conversing with, sexually involved with, missing, feel trapped, waiting on, or wishing they was with you will be surprised people pretend well. Some also think withholding the truth is not telling a lie. If you are use to being disrespected it will continue. I have a problem with trusting anyone. I also have a problem with someone who lies to me when I was honest and agreed honesty would be given. Only if people have seen half of what I have seen…read text messages I have read.

Love is peaceful not painful and definitely not war. It never has to be persuaded.

I never feel no person I was ever with was a loss for me because I am honest, loyal and straightforward. I know my worth and what I will accept from someone. I will never stop being great nor will I ever settle especially to a liar, cheater or a jerk. I could never be fake or not myself with anyone. What you see is what you get I appreciate honesty because that is what I give entirely. Which is more than what I can say for them….

Love the people who treat you right and forget the ones who do not…they were never worthy of you or your time anyway.

Also, I have learned if there are no ups and downs in your life you are dead. The soul usually knows what to do to heal itself it is usually the mind that has the challenge. Especially when you gave your all and still do not know what could have went wrong.  However, the acceptance of what you cannot control is truly freedom. I love freedom!

Those who do you wrong will eventually face their own karma. You have to stop making exceptions for people who only make excuses for the way they treated you. Excuses will continue because they think you will overlook what they have done. There problem is with themselves and not you. They do not know love because they do not love themselves. Even though you were nothing but kind to them. When you ignore someone who has made a point to ignore you all of sudden you get a text you were wrong. The irony people get mad when you treat them how they have treated you.

“When people show you who they really are believe them the first time.” Dr. Maya Angelou

I truly have learned to “Let go and let God” no need of praying if you worry continuously I have to remind myself. Learn to turn your pain and disappointment to wisdom.

Sometimes if you wait and not rush things you will end up where and with who you are supposed to be. I want what God wants for me. I know it is not a man I have to give an ultimatum to or settle for lying or cheating on me. I guess things are going to change after while for me in his timing and I know that things will be better for me….

Follow your intuition and do not put up with anyone’s crap because they are not sure of themselves.

Do not disrespect me if you don’t want to be disrespected.

@IamRachelNStewart

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